When The Lights Go Out In The City
Power outages are usually not a good thing. Two exceptions to this are:
1) The NYC and Northeastern blackouts in 2003. The NYC outages, to me, looked almost fun, from what I saw on the television. Everyone was out in the street, grilling all the meat that was thawing, and having a good time. I'm sure it was pretty inconvenient at times, especially when the plumbing stopped working, but it appeared that most people were generally having a good time. No one was going batshit crazy, there was no looting, and there was no rioting. People were making the most out of a lousy situation. It looked like one big, giant block party. Call me crazy, but it looked enjoyable.
2) Christmas of 2002. We always are up at my grandparent's house on the lake for Christmas dinner with aunts, uncles, and cousins. Most of us spend the night as well. There was an ice storm that night, which can happen on occasion here in the south, and a tree snapped and fell on a power line, leaving us without any power. Luckily we had already eaten dinner. In some weird, almost psychic coincidence, my aunt had given everyone a small MAG flashlight in their stockings, so by pairing those with about a million of my grandma's Christmas candles, we had a very enjoyable night. (On a side note, what if my aunt really is psychic? And if she is, why aren't we trying to make money off of her?) We played cards by candlelight, told stories by candlelight, etc. No, we are not the Waltons. Shut up, it was fun. Then we all left the next day and my poor grandparents went without power for three more days while we all basked in the warmth of our light fixtures. Sorry about that, thanks for the money!
For the past two nights in my area, there have been bad storms and widespread power outages. And they have sucked. The first night I happened to by at my parent's house helping them paint some rooms. Because I am a good kid. It has nothing to do with the free meal I always get when I go over there. No sir, not at all. So as my parent's and I stood in various spots in their bedroom, each holding paint rollers in our hands, the wind and lightning going strong outside, the power goes out and it is completely dark. The first thing I heard was my mom's breathing, very deep and calm. Then, in the same tone you would use to tell someone not to make sudden movements because they are standing by a rattlesnake, my mom says, "Don't panic, everything is fine, please take a hand and cup it under the roller and make your way off the carpet to the tile hallway." But apparently we were not moving fast enough in complete darkness, because the calm attitude quickly gave way to shouts of, "Hurry UP, get the paint rollers AWAY from the carpet, I can't believe you're trying to paint in the middle of a BLACKOUT!" No paint got on the carpet and the crisis was averted. But then we were left to sit there and figure out what to do when you have no electricity. For my mom, this meant reading by candlelight. For my dad, this meant retrieving his new industrial strength, GIANT flashlight from the garage. Seriously, it's like a spotlight, and I'm still not sure how he knew exactly where it was. It's like he has a special bond with it. He would then either go outside and watch the storm, or shine his spotlight on different objects. I decided to light all the candles my mom put in the fireplace, until I was told to blow them out because they are good candles. Did you know there was a candle hierarchy in the middle of a blackout? You do now.
I decided to just stay at my parent's that night and go back to my place early the next morning. And what did I find? No power in the complex. Not too big of a deal since it was light outside. But you know what I'm lacking in my apartment? A window that is close to my bathroom. So while the rest of the entire apartment was bathed in the light of dusk, my bathroom was not. And it's not like I could avoid it. I had to perform the basic hygiene functions of the day. I owed that to my co-workers. So I took a really dark shower, which wasn't too difficult since I pretty much know where everything on my body is. And I eliminated shaving all together. No need to slice the jugular is my motto. And then I had to find the least wrinkled clothes in my closet and just hope for the best.
Now on my way to work most of the traffic lights were out, which started to get my hopes up about the office building. I live pretty close to downtown, so I was thinking that if all these signal lights were out, then maybe the office would have no power and I could have a day off. That seemed logical. But as I approached downtown I could see my building, standing there in all it's electric glory, laughing while it said, "Haha loser, you have to work today!" Shut up, building. So I drive into my garage, which was very dark because it had no power except for the emergency lights. Then I got all mad because why did the good Lord have to give power to my office building, but take it from the parking garage a mere two blocks away? C'mon Lord, I could have used a day off. I hopped out of the truck and made my way to the elevator corridor, which I noticed was also completely dark. My first rational thought was that the elevators would not be working due to the lack of power. But then I saw an extension cord running into the corridor and all rationality flew out the window as I thought, "Oh, they plugged the elevators in. They still work." There are a couple of flaws in this theory, namely elevators CANNOT just be "plugged in", and even if they could, no electricity would mean that the outlets would not even work. In short, I'm an idiot.
No elevator access means having to take the stairs. This lady that walked up behind me didn't know where the stairs were so I told her to follow me. My manly instincts to protect during a crisis were in full effect. We chatted as we made our way to the stairwell hallway, which was completely dark. Not even any type of emergency light. "The stairs are straight ahead, so follow me," I said to the woman as I started walking. But it was not a normal walk. It was one of those walks where you lift your feet up very high because you are certain there are about a million steps you will trip on. They weren't there the day before, but since it is dark, you are certain they are there. And along with the high steps, you have your hands out in front of you, waving them back and forth, daring any walls or doors to mess with you. I bet I looked really cool. And guess what? A door took that dare. It tried to mess with me, and succeeded, because I ran right into it. I bet that made me look even cooler. But beyond that door was light, precious light. And once outside there was natural light. And once inside the office there was artificial light, which really sucked because I wanted that day off. You hear me Lord? I wanted that day off.
To sum up this long story, I went to the apartment after work to find power had not yet been restored. Made a quick call to the parent's to see if they had power and they did. So I took all the food in my freezer, some clothes for work, and drove my ass home. Now, part of me felt like a big wuss for retreating to Mom and Dad's when so many of my co-workers just had to deal with it, but I would like to offer one thing in my defense. And that one thing is air conditioning.
